Pull Your Pants Up or Be Fined!

In at least one town in the United States you will be fined for wearing your pants like this.

I’ve been telling people for years that the government’s power has multiplied well beyond our control in the last 50 years or so. It’s become a real life monster, created by us, that has grown way more powerful than desired.

Here is an example: the city council in Collinsville, Illinois, in a three-to-two vote, issued a new civil ordinance which outlaws city residents and visitors from wearing pants lower than four inches below the waist. Anyone caught breaking this law is hit with a $100 fine. Yes, a $100 dollar fine!

According to an article written by Elizabeth Donald for BND.com, repeat offenders will be given a $300 fine along with 40 hours of community service.

Now if that’s not ridiculous, I don’t know what is. Let’s take a look at a few other laws in Illinois and the penalties for breaking them:

• Failure to wear a seatbelt while driving – $55 fine for first time offenders (Drivinguniversity.com)
•  Driving with a child under 8 and no car seat – $50 fine for first time offenders (Illinois DMV website)
•  Running a red light – $75 fine for first time offenders. (Drivinguniversity.com)
• Texting while driving – $75 fine for first time offenders. (Drivinglaws.org)

So going back to the fine for wearing your jeans too low – it’s $100! Apparently, in the town of Collinsville, wearing baggy jeans is much more criminal (and more dangerous evidently) than driving without a seatbelt, not using a car seat for your child, texting while driving or even speeding through a red light.

Although breaking any of those four ordinances puts lives at risk, in Collinsville, Illinois it is less punishable than wearing baggy jeans that sag too low.

In the words of Mark, one of the characters from the movie Pump up the Volume (1990), “do you ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up?”

Somehow, in the midst of living our own lives, we have decided that it was ok for the government to tell us how to live. The general population has become a bunch of kids and the government our parents.

According to Councilman Michael Tognarelli, who voted in favor of the new ordinance in Collinsville, there is an undeniable connection between baggy jeans and gang activity. Right… Just like there’s an undeniable connection between collard greens and black people? Or Goya beans and Latinos? Or an inability to dance and white people?

Wait. What? Those are only stereotypes? You’ve got to be shitting me!

Believe you me, baggy jeans have nothing to do with being a gang member. I’ve seen gang members who dress up in business suits worth more than you or I. On the same hand, I’ve seen many individuals wearing jeans well below their waistline who are clearly not gang members.

You better stay out of Collinsville, Illinois Justin!

I don’t know if the councilor has seen the latest teen sensation, Justin Bieber, and his sagging jeans. But I highly doubt that Bieber is a member of a murderous gang. But, who knows? Maybe Bieber is a very offensive gang member behind the curtains, I guess.

Nonetheless, I agree with the city council in Collinsville – it is extremely unappealing to have to look at another guy’s underwear. However, I am failing to see the importance of the government, at any level, regulating how their citizens dress. It is beyond absurd and a tremendous waste of taxpayer dollars.

While they’re at it, the city council should also outlaw shoulder pads, skinny jeans and leather pants. Sure, it may be a violation of your human rights to outlaw these fashion statements, but at least my eyes won’t hurt from looking at those travesties.